Finding
Your Voice
In addition to writing and teaching
workshops, I also consult with private clients on their various writing
projects. Recently, one of them, a woman
in her late 70s who is writing a series of family stories, sent me a
remembrance of her beloved grandmother to read and critique.
In the piece, Joan writes about her
many experiences with her grandmother from when she was a young girl. As I read it, I realized that I didn’t really
understand what was so special about “Gram,” though I knew Joan felt there were
many things, else why commit this woman to paper?
And so after marking up the draft—mostly with
questions—I summed up my comments at the end, including suggestions for the
next revision, then sent it back to Joan along with this note.
I definitely like this idea for a family
story; it’s important for future generations to know the people who went before
them.
I hope my notes, especially on the last
page, will help in your revision. The major thing when starting to revise is to
list for yourself those 2-4 most important characteristics/personality traits
of your grandmother, as you experienced
them.
You don’t necessarily have to then list
these traits in the actual revision, but you want the story—the specific
experiences/details/scenes—to illustrate those. In other words, here’s the
evidence that supports why you believe Gram is someone worth writing about.
I also referred Joan to my book,
particularly Chapter Two, “Four Really Helpful Writing Techniques.” The fourth technique, the Character Sketch,
describes how I came to write one particular memory of a high school teacher,
including the process by which that memory emerged on the blank page.
I felt this might be helpful to Joan
as she attempted to more specifically capture what was essential about her
grandmother.
Following is that technique, which I
have copied directly from my book’s initial manuscript. I hope it will serve as a good reminder for
all of us—new and practicing writers alike—when we come to write about the very
special people in our own lives.
4. Character Sketch: When
you use the character sketch technique, you do more than simply describe
someone physically. That’s important of
course as s/he will come more alive on the page the better that you—and your
intended reader—can see what that person looks like, sounds like, moves like.
But a character sketch becomes more
interesting when you add the person’s relevant personality traits and
significant biographical information.
For instance, if I were to do a
character sketch of one of my favorite high school teachers, I’d include her
height (short), athletic skill (she was our phys ed teacher), and coloring (her
small, olive-dark face). I’d also
mention how young she was, and how demanding she was of us. I’d describe how she looked while bouncing
down the school halls (even when not wearing tennis shoes), gesticulating
wildly alongside her friend and colleague, a much taller, paler, and mellower
teacher. Oh, and I guess I would mention
that she was a nun who dressed in the black and white habit of her religious
community—both in the gym and out.
I’d include relevant biographical
information—a matter of keen interest among her former students, especially her
decision to leave the convent after 20 years, marry a much younger man, sail
around the world with him for a year, then return home and open a pizza parlor.
As I sit here now and write about
the former Sister Joseph, more images of her come to mind, each small detail
leading to another, and another, and then finally to a specific scene:
It
is 1958 and our girls volleyball team has gathered in the gym after school for
volleyball practice. As we fumble our
way around the court, Sr. Joe paces up and down the sidelines, barking orders
at us, her black veil tied behind her back with a fat rubber band, the dour nun
shoes exchanged for bright white tennies.
Her diminishing patience at our ineptitude now exhausted, she charges
onto the court and to the spike position of my team. Pushing aside Loretta, our best player, she
yells “Set me up!” to the quaking girl next to her. The rest of us stand there still as stones,
and watch as Sr. Joe rises like some fiery rocket and hammers that ball over
the net.
Coda
Not long
after my book was published in July 2008, I received a very surprising email
from one of its readers. Here’s how it
begins:
Dear Ms. LaChapelle,
I am the "much younger man" to
whom you refer on page 33 of your new book who married your former volleyball
coach. I want to tell you that I (and she) nearly fell on the floor reading
that recollection. While some of the details were slightly off, the essence of
Sr. Joseph was right on.
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing this exercise, Carol. I could really picture the scene with Sister Joseph. And I LOVED your "Coda"!
I love that story!!! Thank you for sharing. Sr Joseph is as clear as a bell in my mind.
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